JOY

I just finished watching the documentary on C.S. Lewis, entitled ”The Most Reluctant Convert” for the fifth or sixth time. I am of course somewhat drawn to such documentaries, especially when it is about a man who made a very big impact upon the Christian faith and equally as much on rational, philosophical reasoning. Lewis was a man of great talent to think a matter through and come to a true conclusion. Of course, that takes a good deal of sincerity and true-heartedness to face a matter, much like Lewis did, which one does not wish to be true. It is hardly a matter of praise should one simply go down the road that he wishes to go down without acknowledging or, especially, admitting the reality of the road he does not wish to go down. And then to go down that road which one did not wish to go down and would rather did not even exist is without question a great testimony of sincerity and  true-heartedness. Lewis, at the end of his fighting with God in his true conversion to Christ, simply came to the conclusion, without any contemplation at that moment regarding the matter, that Christ is indeed who He said He is. That was the moment of Lewis's conversion, or should we say regeneration, by the Spirit of God. It was of course a joyous time in his life, even though he had fought it for years, desiring for it not to be true and most certainly not ever to give in to such a notion. But C.S. Lewis found out, like myself and many others have and many others will in the future, that when God sets his sight on you, He will have you. Yes, it may take time, and usually does, but He will have you. Is not a matter of if but when, and even that is only on the human side of things. With God all things are known from all eternity – a matter of which we have no understanding. 

The documentary is based on the works of Lewis himself, primarily his autobiographical book Surprised by Joy. Readings from some of his other books were also incorporated in the film. One thing that is most pleasing and interesting is the fact that this documentary was actually filmed on the very sites that Lewis himself occupied, such as his house, which was called The Kilns, and Oxford University. Even the church he attended was the one they filmed in and his grave is in that church yard, which they showed at the end of the movie. The title of the book actually gives the reason for Lewis's eventual conversion. He found in life something he desired again, a little feeling called joy. At some point in his life he decided that if there was something he strongly desired naturally that he could not find fulfilled in this world then he must be made for another world. Of course, that something he could not fully attain in this life was joy. That emotion seems to escape one, especially if one seeks for it or tries to hang onto it. And it will come at times when not expected, and it is not necessarily describable. Lewis even described it as somewhat of a grief, but one that you wanted. I'd never really thought of it like that, but I suppose that could be a legitimate description. What I know is joy tends to bring one into a nether world, a world that does not exist but you really wish it did– a world where all your greatest desires could be fulfilled. Of course, when I speak of one's greatest desires, I am not speaking of perverted, sick desires, but such desires as brings out the best of humanity and of any individual. But the only way for that to happen is for those desires to be as much as possible like the very nature of God Himself. Nothing else could ever do. And when one is seeking joy I think in truth he's seeking God, not only because He is the only entity which can actually give joy, but in Whose very nature joy is found. To be like God is to be joyous, to have that real, indescribable feeling of fulfillment, happiness, elation, and truth. And without truth, of which God is the very embodiment, one can not have joy.